Stop Hiding, Start Feeling
by ThePrincessOfLightAndDark
Summary: For my friend Ashley cuz she really likes Kai from Beyblade. She wanted me to write a fantasy with him and her and this is what I got. It's my first public piece so leave lots of comments :
1. Ch:1: Better Than I Had It

Stop Hiding, Start Feeling

Prologue

This was so new, so out of the ordinary for me. At this point, I couldn't believe that I had run away from this feeling. It felt amazing. She was amazing. I was glad that I had stopped running and started feeling, but I was scared it would fade. I've heard that good things don't last forever, that you can have too much of a good thing. But I believe in her. After all, she is almost everything to me now. She brought me out of the darkness I put myself in, brought down my shields I was using to hide God knows what, and helped me learn to love. Ashley, this is for you.

Ch:1: Better Than I had It

I had just finished with another girl, as the phone rang. This stranger got dressed and left as quickly as she entered and I can't say I felt good because I wasn't sure I did. I called the number back of an old friend of mine. His voice brought back happy memories of when I was younger and had the answers. Now, I'm older and completely lost. Tyson's voice is like a dream to me, something that was too good to be real but was. I smiled as I heard his frantic state over the phone line.

"Kai! You wouldn't believe what I've been through!" he exclaims through gasping breaths of air. I laugh and tell him to go ahead.

He explains that he had asked his girlfriend to marry him, she said yes, and wanted me to be the best man. I accepted without even thinking about it. He was my best friend.

~6 months later~

Nothing has changed. I have a different girl in my bed almost every other day and have begun to disconnect with my friends that have been more like family to me than anyone. I'm too ashamed to speak with them. If any of them had found out my current living conditions and what I do on a daily basis to keep my sanity, they would surely be disappointed. I couldn't deal with that right now, or ever.

I dress in a traditional black suit for Tyson's wedding. I keep my hair the way it normally is: spiky, messy, and utterly sexy. I thought so anyways. So did a few other girls…

I got there ten minutes late with about ten people greeting me at the door like it was my special day. I didn't realize I had been gone so long. My old team, the Blitzkrieg Boys were no where to be seen. I soon see Tyson, congratulate him and his bride, and took my stance among Ray, Max, and Kenny at the alter.

That's when I saw her.

I had never felt my heart stop in a situation as casual as the way she flipped her hair, or the way her chocolate eyes fell on the scene in front of her. The way that black dress clung to her tiny form or the way she first looked at me.

I looked away quickly, terrified of the memorizing hold had on me in that second. I could feel nervousness tight in the pit of my stomach. I could also feel the build up of sweat on my lower back and forehead. I had been with many girls in my life and I refused to believe that this one was any different.

But as soon as I recited the words in my head, my eyes were back on her. My heart gave another unmerciful throb as I watched her lean back into her seat and stare off into space. I wanted so badly to shake my head clear of these thoughts. How could she be this compelling? I've had a million like her before. But I couldn't keep my eyes off of her.

Just then, the organ music began to echo throughout the great church hall and I sighed in relief as the perfect distraction made his way down the aisle. Tyson was the happiest I had ever seen him but I wouldn't dare ask why. He had been dating a girl named Jennifer since we turned sixteen. Now, we're nineteen and he's been happy ever since because of her. I never understood why his eyes would light up at the sight of her, or why he spent so much time with her and barely any with me. I also wondered why, when he talked about them having sex, it was "making love". Why did him getting some mean more than when I did?

I suppressed several yawns throughout the ceremony and stifled a laugh when Tyson's nervousness got the best of him and he dropped the ring. When the embarrassing part was over, it was time for the reception.

The room was set up like a club in which there were no actual lights on except for the strobing kind and other flashing lights that could potentially give you a seizure. It was my kind of scene; or at least, that's where I usually have been for the past few years. Sitting down at one of the white, decorated tables with a shot glass in my hand, I watched as the brown haired girl from earlier danced with her friends, wondering if she was like other girls I've "dated".

But then again, I wasn't sure I wanted to just bang and be gone with her. Something was indeed different with her, but I had no idea why. Suddenly, another guy went up to her; a guy I've seen at tournaments and such, but never spoke to him, or even acknowledged. He was speaking with her now and as I watched her laugh and smile, my stomach gave a painful churn and I was suddenly shaking violently with an anger that I had never known. Why should I be angry at another man speaking with her? I didn't even know her name. But I was suddenly very interested in it. I was interested in much more than her name; I tried to make myself believe that. It's like that with every other girl; I refuse to let this one be any different.

I'm afraid to stand, not trusting my legs to make the trip to where she stood, when she began walking away with this boy. That fueled me enough and as I downed my shot of vodka, all I could think about was stealing her attention and putting it on me. At that moment, I swear I would have done anything for her eyes.

I push past the people dancing on the floor, dodge their sloppy movements and sweat-covered bodies towards her before I lost her in the crowd. I grabbed her arm just as she was about to disappear into a dark corner with this man that was almost four times the size of her. She turns to look at me now, confusion and what looked like relief crosses her face as she stares back with lazy eyes like every girl does when they see my face.

I noticed the guy's hand on her lower back like white on black as I pulled her closer to me. Even I was surprised at my sudden defensiveness towards this beautiful stranger. He looked angry, but I couldn't care less. As I pull her away from him to the middle of the dance floor where we were most hidden, I noticed that she was beginning to come more willingly rather than me just pulling her.

"Thanks. I wasn't exactly sure how to get out of there", she said laughing over the music. To me, her laughter was music all on its own.

I nodded and place my hands on her waist, cautioning her with my eyes at whether she was comfortable with dancing this close to me. I was a stranger to her as well. She smiled at me as she snaked her small arms around my neck with some difficulty. She only was as tall as my collar bone as she strained her head to look up at me with curiosity back in eyes.

"So, what's your name?" She asked as I saw her gain some height. I looked down quickly to notice her standing on her toes to reach me with a bit more ease. I suppressed a smile and looked back into her eyes.

"Kai Hiwatari. And yours?" I tried to keep my voice casual while my heart was stuttering hard in my chest, making my breath come out shallow.

"Ashley Campsall", she said with the same smile.

I sighed with relief. Her name fit her perfectly. We danced slowly to fast songs for the longest time, each not minding having to yell answers to one another as questions began taking over our thoughts. I learned that her favorite color was green and that she never stayed up past 11 during the week. Her birthday was June 6, 1990 and that she owned two cats. Her hobbies were collecting objects and reading. By the time midnight came, I had a million new questions to ask her but she had to leave. However, I did get her number.

I called her later that night and we didn't get off the phone until 6:30am because she wanted my voice to be the last thing she heard before she went to sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about those words even when I was laying in bed half conscious.

I dreamt that I was hanging out at Tyson's house and we were talking about love. He asked if I had ever been in love and I told him yes for some reason. I told him about this girl that was strangely familiar but I couldn't put a name on her. I knew her, and knew her well, but I couldn't find her name. I was going to be seeing her later that day. She lived with me and we had children together. I was also reflecting that I was the happiest I had ever been. I poured my soul to Tyson and was happy that I was feeling everything he was feeling with…

And then I woke up. It was at that moment that I knew that I was in love. I didn't know how, or why, but I did know that I didn't mind because, when it came to Ashley, I would do anything just for her. Damn it. Was it really this easy to put practical strangers in front of your other halves? I never realized that she could be better than I had it; better than I deserved to have it.


	2. Ch:2: Come Closer

Ch:2: Come Closer

This was too fast too soon. I suddenly wanted to see her everyday and know how she thought about things. I wanted to be able to predict her reactions to things and know exactly how she felt about me. That bothered me more than anything. I found myself spending more time out of my apartment than I had in a long time. I was beginning to get a tan as, almost every day; Ashley and I were at the beach. I loved being outside again.

She would tell me about her friends; about one that she asked to write a story for her. I asked what the story was about but she said that it's kind of a funny story and drops it. I shrug it off and continue taking in the sun and her.

When we go to the beach, she wears her bikini bathing suit and I can't help but to look at almost every second she's in it. But I could swear I catch her staring at me in my swimming shorts as well…I could be imagining it.

But I also couldn't be. I know I didn't imagine our first kiss later that night when I made sure she got home safely and I definitely didn't make up how she called me later that night and said that she was falling for me. I didn't sleep that night. Her words were quite a distraction.

I called Tyson earlier that morning, waking him up and told him what I had been through. He was so incredibly happy for me that I suddenly wished that I hadn't called and had just went straight over to his house, but I didn't want to intrude on anything. I went over to Ashley's house instead. We watched movies all day, talked more about each other, and shared our second kiss which lasted A LOT longer than the first.

She tried for my shirt once and I rejected it almost immediately. I don't know why, but I wanted to wait. ME! I wanted her first time to be as special as I could possibly make it. It was hard enough kissing her normally without feeling the need to rip her clothes off. But we spoke of that as well. She says she knows exactly how I feel. I laugh and say its impossible and she respond with sitting on my lap and asking: "Wanna bet?"

~6 months later~

It's amazing how much can happen in just a short year. Ashley and I are at the beach and I couldn't have been more frustrated with how long it's been since I've gotten some. I went from getting lad almost every night to the biggest teases I had ever endured. Ashley is in my kitchen now, making dinner for us and I can't help but become nervous again like the day I first laid eyes on her. I also can't stop the erection that is pushing against my jeans.

I'm used to this by now; making out with her to a point where it's unbearable and then stopping because I don't want to do something I'll regret, but tonight was outrageous. Today was my birthday and she insisted that she make me dinner and take me out for a movie. Hasn't she ever heard of birthday sex? That would have been just fine on my part.

She set my plate down in front of me, it carrying a large square of lasagna. I grab a fork and begin eating immediately, looking for any distraction to keep me from eyeing her small frame. She is wearing a small dark green dress with her long brown hair out. The dress is strapless and ends just above her knees. She is also wearing matching stilettos that make her able to reach my lips with ease. All in all, she looked utterly sexy tonight. I was dressed in blue jeans and a dress shirt that fell loosely around my hips. I looked like a weed compared to this flower.

"So, what movie would you prefer? I promise no chick flicks", she said with a laugh as she gazes at me through the transparent frames of her glasses. My heart nearly stops and I take a long drink of my water before I answer her.

"It doesn't matter, darling. As long as we are together", I say as I reach towards her and take her hand. She blushes and giggles at this as she always does when I say something overly mushy. I smile at the sight of my Ashley.

We decide later to see "Alice in Wonderland", even though she's already seen it more than once. So had I but I didn't let her know that. I didn't want all her precious planning to go to waste on worrying about my needs. She still didn't realize that she was all I needed and with her, I was fine with anything her or the world had to offer me.

When we arrive home we both shower, separately, and lay in her bed.

I watched as she ran her nails along my arm creating small shivers down my spine. I was hard and knew it but she didn't and I wanted it to stay that way. Her eyes finally met mine, only there was something in them that I had never seen before. They looked hungry, like she wanted something.

"Kai", she said my name slow and deliberate. I met her eyes and silently answered her.

"I'm…I'm ready", she said with a blush as she forced herself to keep eye contact with me. I looked away, too many thoughts going through my mind at once.

She gave me the confirmation so why wasn't I taking it? She was so pure and angelic and I didn't want to corrupt her in any way. I didn't want to change her from what she was now. I was so scared that tying that last string with her was going to do that.

"But if you don't want to…" The hurt was plain in her voice as she trailed off and looked down and away from me.

"It's not that at all, sweetheart. I just…I'm scared", I admitted rather sheepishly. She smiled at this as she inched closer to me and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Don't be. It's just me. There's nothing to be afraid of", she said as she kissed me so strongly that I gasped at the sudden rush of blood throughout my body.

"Come closer", she whispered as I turned her body so she was lying on her back. I was surprised at how well I fit between her legs.

We made love for the first time that night.

I find myself marrying this girl, this Ashley of mine, which we do a year later. I find myself wanting kids, and we later get them sooner than planned but happy none the less. I use my not-so-useless fortune on buying us a house big enough for our family. Every summer we have a barbeque almost every day and we constantly have people over for dinner and other events. I have a completely perfect life. Ashley still doesn't know about the other women that were in my bed before her. But I still don't deserve her. I don't deserve her because even though she's changed my life in ways that I would have never thought possible, I'm still having a different girl in my house at least once a week.

When she's at work and our little boy is in day-care, it's the regulars that still come through my door and leave as soon as I say so. Only, there's something different about it this time. Maybe it's the thrill of being caught? I'm not sure.

All I know is that Ashley doesn't smell the sex when she walks into our bed late that night. She doesn't smell the perfume on her side of the bed when we sleep. And she doesn't spot the cum stains scattered around the sheets from both me and the other girls.

I guess nothing has changed.

I guess I'll forever take everything for granted, and as much as I love my wife, it seems I'll always love myself even more.


End file.
